The Star Online: Metro: Central
The Star Online: Metro: Central |
| Ugly side of subway passengers Posted: 11 Nov 2011 04:24 AM PST Scuffles a daily affair on Beijing trains. WHEN I was on board a subway train during peak hours one afternoon, an ugly incident happened again. Two passengers were pushed out of the train and a woman screamed loudly. The two young men entered into a violent quarrel and soon the scuffle ended with punches and kicks flying. A few women, who were apparently accompanying them, tried to advise and stop them from fighting but to avail. The two men bled but they showed no signs of calming down. It was the second scuffle within a month that I saw on the Beijing subway train. Both incidents were caused by the hustling in the crowded train. When a person is pushed by the other passengers behind him and if he doesn't like it, a fight looms. The young people in this fast-paced city seem to lose their patience easily. For whatever reasons that may have caused repression and mental stress in their lives, they should not behave violently. Search fight and subway on the Internet and you will find dozens of stories and video clips of similar incidents that happened in the Chinese capital. In a video clip posted in June, two women pulled each other's hair on the subway while the other commuters simply watched without trying to break up the fight or offer them advice. In another more violent clip posted in August, three men exchanged punches and hurled each other onto the ground on the subway after a squabble over a seat. Many commuters were seen moving away from the three men while others looked helpless and could only tell the men to stop fighting during the incident which lasted for about two minutes. A netizen joked that one would need to have brawns and brains to survive in Beijing. On the Beijing subway Line No 1, incidents of fighting happen almost every other day. I am already used to it. If you do not have some martial art skills, it will be hard for you to board a train, another man commented. Another netizen quipped: What else can I say. My beloved country! Some said that it was a shame that such incidents happened on the subway line which is used by five million commuters a day. Last month, Beijing Evening News reported that a 25-year-old man was stabbed with a knife by another man during a scuffle. The injured man who bled profusely was rushed to the hospital. Soon after the incident, a witness by the name of Cui Na tweeted on the incident: "I was just a few people away from the two fighting men. I was too scared and moved further inside the carriage. After we arrived at the Guomao station, I quickly ran out of the train," she said. Other netizens lamented over the lax security at subway stations and wondered how the man could bring in his knife despite the security checks at the entrances of the stations. In the wake of these incidents, the Beijing subway authorities urged commuters not to rush while boarding trains to ensure its train services would not be delayed. According to a survey, about 160 million people in China have mental disorder and the numbers are expected to increase tremendously by 2020. Those aged 18 and above made up about 16%. Psychologists and experts said that the fast-paced lifestyle, lack of leisure time and increasing pressure in society had resulted in the people developing anxiety and depression and losing sleep. They said economic reforms that swept China over the past two decades had improved the people's lives in the material sense but many could not cope with the pace of development and subsequently developed mental problems. Many young people who sought counselling said they felt tremendous pressure at work and dreaded their current work life. They added that they would get annoyed when they saw people who were walking in a hurry on the streets. The end result — they became ill-tempered and pessimistic about life. What is the use of having a more prosperous country when its people are actually weak mentally and facing major problems handling pressure. Although generally Chinese people are still well-behaved and have good manners, it is a matter of time before the volcano exploded in them. Experts said one of the most effective ways for the people to reduce stress was to slow down their pace of life and take it easy at work. They should maintain their own pace and not be affected by others. Only then China will have a calm and cultured society, said the experts. Full content generated by Get Full RSS. |
| Posted: 11 Nov 2011 04:23 AM PST Important to lay down the rules from the start. I AM dismayed reading stories in the papers about maids allegedly being beaten or raped by their employers and I simply cannot fathom how some folks can be so cruel. I grew up with domestic helpers almost all my life, and my family always treated them with respect. Our first (and longest) live-in maid Rose, took care of us for many years and was so close to us, that even after leaving our employment to remarry, we still treat her like our own relative and have kept in touch despite the years and distance between us. As for the rest, we never had squabbles or problems — and all of them left on good terms to return for good to their respective country. I have heard horror stories on maids running away, stealing and doing the nasty to their employers children; but having such good experience with previous maids working for my family, I was not too worried about hiring my first stay-in maid. In fact, I was confident that things were going to go quite smoothly. Sensing my aloofness in this matter, my manager persuaded me to be careful nonetheless. So off I went to Surabaya to personally handpick the woman who would not just help manage my household, but to look after the love of my life, Isobel. After screening the best based on their so-called experience and some gut instinct, I short-listed two and submitted my request to the Maids Agency. Two months later, I picked up bibik from the agency and took her home. That was almost three years ago. A week ago, I had to let her go. Things started out fine. The agency did not allow her to use her headscarf and took away her praying mat, so I bought her a black tudung to wear when we went out, as well as a mat, a copy of the Quran and prayer beads. I also allowed her to fast and to perform her daily prayers five times a day. Apparently, some employers don't allow their maids to practise their religious beliefs but despite not sharing the same faith as her (then), I welcomed her spiritual obligations with an open heart thinking that her staunch beliefs were proof of a good personality and an honest heart. To cut a long story short, we had some hiccups along the way but I ignored them because I was a single working mother and chose to close one eye to the little mistakes she made. When I eventually did start probing and correcting her gently, she would answer back or show a grim face and worst of all, repeat the mistake. Her being older than me made it more difficult. I grew up learning to respect my elders, so I was not used to scolding her despite the fact that she was under my employment. I blame myself because I made the mistake of not really training her. Nor did I lay down any rules for her from the beginning. I was pretty lenient with her because she arrived at a time when I was super busy with work and had some daunting personal matters to address. So after a few months when I did have time to assess her work and tried to undo what she was already accustomed to doing, it was difficult and her work performance as well as her attitude started changing. Thank goodness she was kind with my little girl but quite often I would catch her feeding her instant noodles when I told her specifically to feed her vegetable soup or something healthier. And Isobel started learning bad habits like eating in front of the television instead of on her highchair table because the maid wanted to watch her Indonesian drama while feeding her. The last straw was when she used our petty cash to buy Isobel toys and candy for both of them when I gave clear instructions not to do it again. Finally, one day after another row with the husband and her — she did her usual "I want to go home speech". On normal occasions, I'd persuade her to change her mind. This time around, I bought her a ticket for a flight out that night itself and paid what I owed her. She was taken aback. When we went through her baggage prior to her flying off, we were shocked to find some stuff that were missing — things that I would have given her anyway had she only asked! She even took drain plugs from our home and old kettles and my undergarments. I was bewildered and had to tell her gently that she has a 30kg limit and there was no way she could take all (including an old Astro dish) back! I've learnt my mistake. Now that I am in the midst of applying for a new helper, I have already prepared a schedule and some notes for her to adhere to. I think if I'm firm with her from the beginning and explain why I want things done the way I want it to be, it will be easier for everyone. I plan to take at least two weeks to train her diligently and God-willing, it'll be better this time. I really do hope the authorities get their act together soon so I can get a maid before I start work again. I'm crossing my fingers. Daphne believes that a firm approach and not a firm hand is the way to go in training your domestic helper. E-mail your thoughts to her at daphneiking6@gmail.com or tweet her @daphCLPT Full content generated by Get Full RSS. |
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