The Star Online: Lifestyle: Parenting
The Star Online: Lifestyle: Parenting |
| Posted: 07 Jun 2011 07:31 PM PDT ONCE upon a time in Malaysia, before some clever TV producer in Australia decided to pit 5,000 mini-chefs against each other for the title of Junior MasterChef, kids were only pressured to get 13As, score distinction in their piano exams, and perhaps attend a couple of casting calls for TV commercials. And you would call these kids well-rounded, their left and right brains developed in tandem. Fast forward to 2011, and words like consomme, hatted restaurants, master chef, reduction, tea-infused quail and garlic custard suddenly find their way into our vocabulary. Custard from the box is no longer good enough because how difficult can it be to beat eggs, milk and sugar together? Don't get me wrong – I absolutely love the series that recently concluded on Star World (Astro Channel 711). As Season One is being rerun, I watch them whenever I can wrestle the remote from my daughters. On a good day, they sit down and watch with me, because they can relate to it. I even had the pleasure of interviewing Isabella Bliss (the winner) over the phone not too long ago. She is one impressive 12-year-old. Mature and sensible, with a good head on her shoulders, Isabella is an amazing talent. I suddenly started daydreaming of a ladle-wielding, dessert-making, apron-wearing little prodigy. I contemplated cooking classes for kids, and possibly nurturing this yet-undiscovered talent in my daughters. Obviously, I was not the only one to have this train of thought. Parents have started throwing cooking-themed birthday parties for their kids. Cooking schools now host these parties and even open up classes for children. The marketing wheels turned as the mini-chef phenomenon exploded. Last week, I was invited to a mother-and-daughter cooking class by the good people of At 19 Culinary Studio in Damansara Heights, Kuala Lumpur. I attended it with my elder girl, who is almost six. In four hours, we were taught to make three dishes – mango yoghurt, sweet corn fritters and spinach noodles in broth. It was a decent experience and I was really excited to learn how to make noodle soup like my neighbourhood kopitiam uncle. I also learned how to de-vein prawns, which is a skill every self-respecting aspiring chef needs to have. Ah, but I forget the class is not about me. It's about exposing my child to the joys of cookery. Angelica did enjoy it and was quite the little helper. She mixed the dough and hand-made the noodles, chopped vegetables with me guiding her, and stood very far from me while I worked on the prawns. She showed me that she could crack an egg perfectly, but this she learned from baking with me at home anyway. Would I enrol her in another cooking class, whether with me or on her own? I will apply the same principle here that I used when choosing a music class for her, which was that if I had to be there, then she's not learning as independently as she should. She would rely on me too much to show her how things are done, and I would be inclined to do so. As for a solo class, I think she's still too young and doesn't yet know how to handle kitchen utensils properly. Until she's ready or expresses interest in more classes, I will involve her more when I cook or bake. We have been doing that sporadically in the past, but perhaps it's time to make a more conscious decision to explore cooking together. I promise from now on I will not scream bloody murder when she drops the bag of expensive organic flour and it goes EVERYWHERE, nor will I flinch when she beats the eggs and half of it ends up on her skirt, or hyperventilate when she cannot squirt mayonnaise in a straight line for a sushi roll. Because she learns by making mistakes. How many eggs do you think she destroyed before she cracked that perfect one? A lot. If the proliferation of TV chefs and cooking shows is anything to go by, I would say cooking is as much a calling as wanting to be an artist, scientist, prima ballerina, fashion designer or writer. As with all callings, it is about living life a certain way. A couple of cooking classes do not a chef make. There has to be dedication to the craft, and a lot of literal blood, sweat and tears. World-class pianists practise for hours every day. Pro-golfers are forever perfecting their swing. Chart-topping musicians live and breathe music. If one day my kids come to me and say they want to cook or skydive/dance/teach/write for a living, I will tell them to go ahead and live their dreams. I will tell them that it'll be a lot of hard work, because whatever they choose to do, they have to be outstanding. Failure is allowed, as long as they pick themselves up and start over. Mediocrity, however, needs to be left at the door. n Elaine Dong's kid-oriented culinary adventures are well-documented on her blog, www.angelolli.com. Full Feed Generated by Get Full RSS, sponsored by USA Best Price. |
| Posted: 07 Jun 2011 07:23 PM PDT WHAT is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about teenagers? Rebellion, bad attitude and trouble? Teens get a lot of bad press. All too often, publicity about teenagers highlights the ones in trouble: the Mat Rempit, the runaways and the lawbreakers. You rarely hear about the hospital volunteers and the camp counsellors. Thanks to media images of juvenile delinquents, parents often expect trouble as their children enter puberty. It is a rare parent who does not approach a child's adolescence without some misgivings. Being a parent is a rewarding experience, but it's not always easy, especially during the child's teenage years. Parenting a teenager can be like riding a roller-coaster; one moment they appear angelic and mature, the next, their horns appear and things get out of control. All of a sudden, your teenage child seems to have changed without warning. Why is this so; what is happening? By English definition, the word "teenager" simply refers to children aged 13 to 19. They are also known as adolescents. According to Wikipedia, the word "adolescence" is derived from the Latin word, adolescere, meaning "to grow up". Historically, puberty has been heavily associated with teenagers and the onset of adolescent development. However, the start of puberty has had somewhat of an increase in preadolescence, particularly in females. These changes have made it more difficult to pinpoint the time frame in which adolescence occurs. With the onset of puberty, a few things happen to our teenage children: Physical changes As hormones are being released by their bodies, secondary body characteristics develop. Girls begin to menstruate and boys' vocal chords start to change. Hair grows in private parts. They become very self-conscious and sensitive. In fact, they often remind me of the "touch-me-not" Mimosa plant. Suddenly, they cry out for freedom and privacy. Emotional changes Emotionally, they can be as unpredictable as the weather, going from sunshine one moment to thunderstorm the next. One reason could be the raging hormones. The other may be due to internal self-conflict because of an identity crisis. Identity crisis is a phase they go through as they discover who they are and try to make sense of the world around them. For many, this phase of self-discovery brings about instability and causes them to feel insecure. The frustrating part is, much as we want to know why they are exhibiting such erratic emotions, they may have absolutely no idea themselves. Truth is, sometimes there is just no reason at all. As a result, their non-responsiveness may come across as bad attitude. Social changes Socially, they go through a process known as individuation, which is becoming an individual. For this to happen, they feel an urge to be "separated" from their parents and identify themselves with their peers. This is their way of showing the world that they have grown up. For this reason, they do not like to be seen with their parents or be shown too much affection openly by their parents. Hence, friends become very important to them. They need to identify themselves with their peers in order to find themselves. That's why we often see teenagers having the same hairstyle, carrying the same bag or even having the same tattoo or body piercing at the same spot! Instinctively, we try to regain control while they assert their individuality. Alas, we see the law of physics in action – every force produces a reaction force – and rebellion results. Letting go can be difficult. Mental/cognitive changes Adolescence is also a period where the frontal brain goes through major construction. The teenager now moves from concrete reasoning to abstract thinking. In essence, they are migrating from a black-and-white world to a world of grey and shades of grey. Before, everything was absolute. Now, they discover the realm of relativity. For example, they know that telling lies is wrong. Now, they have to wrestle with "Is telling white lies okay?" They also have a quest for things spiritual and philosophical. They ask questions like "What is the meaning in life?" and "Is there really a power bigger than myself?" It can be totally confusing for them. For that matter, some of us adults are still confused, asking and searching for answers ourselves. Our teenage children really don't care how much we know until they know how much we care. When we begin to see things from their perspective and understand what they are going through, we will then be able to go down to their level, learn to let go gradually, and connect with them meaningfully. n Charis Patrick is a trainer and family life educator who is married with four children. Full Feed Generated by Get Full RSS, sponsored by USA Best Price. |
| Posted: 07 Jun 2011 05:30 PM PDT NURTURING a child with patience and love is not always easy, especially when the child is feisty and fussy. However, it becomes easier with playgroups where children find themselves surrounded by toys, books and other children their age. Thirty years ago, playgroups weren't as popular; parents might have scoffed at the thought of sending a child away from the home for a few hours just to play. What's more, interactive behaviour and a child's social development were probably not given as much priority as they are today. Now, playgroups have evolved into a necessity for many parents. Not only is a playgroup the best place for parents to unwind, share tips on parenting and make new friends, it also gives children the opportunity to interact with other children and make new friends. Dayang Lily Abang Muas, the founder of ALIMkids, says playgroups are important for toddlers between the ages of two and four because this is when they become aware of the people around them. "At this age, they become more sociable and like to make friends. Playing with other children of the same age allows them to learn social skills like sharing, waiting for their turn, empathy and teamwork," she shares. ParenThots explores the option of playgroups and when it should be considered. Focus on the family When should a parent start disciplining children and what age is too young? Dr James Dobson says the need for genuine discipline doesn't usually arise until about midway through the child's second year. At this time, boys and girls are capable of understanding what you tell them to do, and as a result they can very gently be held responsible for their behaviour. Parents share stories Father Mohd Mujahid Ismail shares 14 ways to encourage his children to read. Among them is turning off the TV at prime time. He wins the Scholastic Disney School Skills workbooks for May. If you want to win a set of eight workbooks, just e-mail parenthots@thestar.com.my and write about how you encourage your children to read. The best e-mail every month wins. Demand vs scheduled feeds Should children be fed on demand or should they be put on a schedule? Bridget Emily Mowe, who has a three-year-old girl and is expecting her second child, says: "When I was breastfeeding, I fed her on demand. She was a preemie and it seemed like the right thing to do was to feed her as much as I could. Plus, by doing that, I noticed she never had colic problems. In addition, we bonded better and still remain very close till this day." Paediatrician Dr Yong Junina says: "Babies should be fed on demand especially when they are young because they don't have enough nutrients to last them through the night." While Elaine Ho, mother of two boys aged three months and two years, believes that scheduling could lead to forcing them to eat and this will have a negative effect on their relationship with food. What do you think? Share your opinion at ParenThots.com. Win! Win! Win! If you want to win Grolier's nine-volume My Disney Encyclopedia, Trudy & Teddy products or Berjaya HVN DVDs, then head on over to ParenThots. There are ongoing contests and promotions that should interest you. The winners of the crafts contests held at the Craft with ParenThots event on May 28 at Tropicana City Mall in Petaling Jaya, Selangor, have also been announced. And, the winner of the Father's Day contest will be announced this week. Full Feed Generated by Get Full RSS, sponsored by USA Best Price. |
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