The Star Online: Lifestyle: Bookshelf
The Star Online: Lifestyle: Bookshelf |
| Portia's painful account of anorexia Posted: 09 Jun 2011 07:16 PM PDT Unbearable Lightness: A Story Of Loss And Gain An actor shines an uncompromising light on a problem that plagues her industry yet remains little discussed. AFTER reading Unbearable Lightness, I had to watch the film Who Is Cletis Tout or at least fast forward through it to find what I was looking for. Somewhere in that bad comedy from 2001 there had to be some evidence of the terrible tragedy behind it. If you pay close attention and know what you are looking for, there are some minuscule clues. Such as how the character Tess, played by Portia de Rossi, usually wears long sleeves no matter how sunny the scene is. Or how you never see her legs, and her neck is almost always hidden under a curtain of her signature platinum blond hair. Technically, that could mean nothing. De Rossi is a professional and gives no hint that she is in agonising pain throughout the film. You would never guess that she collapses at the end of each day and needs to be carried off the set. You can't imagine that this young actress would then go home and cry for hours every night. Or that soon, a doctor will tell her what her family has been telling her for months: that she is killing herself . De Rossi, an Australian model turned actress gained fame first as icy beauty Nelle Porter in TV series Ally McBeal, then as George Micheal's hilariously self-centred sister in comedy series Arrested Development. Despite her soaring career, de Rossi never felt she deserved a single leaf of her laurels. She lived in constant terror that one day she would be revealed as the fraud she thought she was, and worked even harder to be good enough. And for her, the only way to be good enough, was to be thin enough. In Unbearable Lightness, de Rossi chronicles her battle with anorexia, a disorder that consumed her body, her mind and her life. De Rossi was always an over-achiever. As a child, she was horrified once when her mother referred to their family as "average" and spent her life trying to rise above the curse of ordinariness. She did exceptionally well at school, but decided to pursue careers that have demolished stronger women than her. As a model and actress, she began seeing herself through that distorted microscope that magnifies physical flaws. Her eyes were too small, her jaw was too square, her thighs were too thick. She blamed herself for all of it. Fuelled by self-hatred, de Rossi's strict self discipline took on the darker form of obsession. Every minute was spent measuring, counting and calculating. Every night was spent revisiting every calorie she had consumed (only a few hundred calories, eaten clumsily with chopsticks to slow herself down) and the missed opportunities to burn them. She would berate herself for every minute sitting when she could have been standing, every moment standing when she should have been running. Her ideal weight dropped lower every time she reached it. She measured her thighs, and then when they stopped touching, even when she pressed her knees together, she measured the widening gap between them. She stopped getting her period and she stopped sweating. She never went out with friends because she could not risk ending up in a restaurant where she could not have her normal meal of watery oatmeal and artificial butter. She did not invite people home because she was lying about eating more than she was so they wouldn't worry. Actually eating was not an option. What Kay Redfield Jameson did for manic-depression with An Unquiet Mind, Portia de Rossi does for anorexia in Unbearable Lightness. Both authors shine piercing, first-person lights on misunderstood but potentially deadly disorders that affect mainly women and girls, but also an increasing number of boys and men. For someone who had to spend so much of her life hiding her insecurities, her sexuality and her eating habits, it's amazing how much de Rossi opens up in Unbearable Lightness. There is nothing too shameful to share, including horrifying photos of herself at her thinnest, all angles as she stands awkwardly on brittle legs. There were times I wondered whether this book should be shared with anorexics or not. De Rossi does almost too good a job bringing us into her mind at that time, so close to her obsession that you could almost share it. Frankly, I still worry that the book could act as a trigger. However, it is an excellent book for those who want to understand the condition, for those who might be worried about someone who has lost too much weight, spends too much time in the gym or who never seems to eat when others are around. Hopefully, it will also make us think twice about the ease with which we comment on or criticise other people's weight. De Rossi beat something that has taken many other lives. It was shortly after Who Is Cletis Tout that she finally got the wake up call and the help she needed. The book has a happy ending, as those familiar with her career may know. Today, de Rossi eats what she wants, when she wants and because she no longer constantly thinks about food, she finds she has fewer cravings and no problems maintaining a healthy weight. De Rossi continues to do well in her career. She is a smart actor and, like her wife Ellen De Generes, possesses pitch perfect comedic timing. To be better understood, anorexia needed a voice this honest and, perhaps unfortunately, this famous. Unbearable Lightness could be an inspiration to those who know that healing is neither quick nor easy but it is possible. Full Feed Generated by Get Full RSS, sponsored by USA Best Price. |
| Matterhorn: A powerful tale of war Posted: 09 Jun 2011 07:15 PM PDT Matterhorn NO event in American history is more misunderstood than the Vietnam War. It was misreported then, and it is misremembered now." Richard Nixon, as reported in the New York Times, March 28, 1985. The United States paid an extremely heavy toll for its involvement in the Vietnam War. Described by historian George F. Kennan as "the most disastrous of all America's undertakings over the whole 200 years of its history", it was a humiliating defeat that caused a major loss of pride to a country that had previously thought of itself as invincible. What's more, the loss weakened the American public's faith in its government and in the honesty and competence of leaders. And perhaps most importantly, there were the thousands who lost their lives fighting in the brutal jungles of Vietnam, caught up in a grim war few of them understood or supported. Matterhorn paints a stirring portrait of these soldiers who chose to serve their country in an unpopular war and paid the ultimate price for it. Karl Marlantes's novel revolves around young lieutenant Waino Mellas, who, together with his comrades in Marine troop Bravo Company, are tasked with defending the Matterhorn, a fortress on a hill near the border of Laos. After fortifying the place, Mellas and his men are ordered to abandon it, and later retake it after it is claimed by the enemy. Apart from the relentless assaults of the North Vietnamese Army, Mellas and Bravo Company find themselves having to deal with all the horrors of a think rainforest, as well as hunger and thirst, and dissent and racism. Then there are the political machinations of the soldiers' superiors, many of whom care more about the advancement of their military careers than the well-being of their men. What results is a stark portrayal of the horrors of war and the ordeals suffered by those caught up in it. Matterhorn is breathtakingly, painfully real. Author Marlantes actually served in Vietnam and was awarded, among others, the Navy Cross, the Bronze Star and two Navy Commendation Medals for valour. His novel captures with grim accuracy the horrific setting of war-torn Vietnam, constantly beset with trouble around every corner, whether it be disease, savage wildlife or land mines. But Matterhorn is a little difficult to get into in the beginning. Marlantes's writing is tight and matter-of-fact, almost military in its efficiency, with little pause for description. This works especially well in his combat scenes: Matterhorn's battles are tense and gripping, coming at you with the force of a rocket-propelled grenade, unflinching in their brutality. This style is less effective, however, in the character-driven scenes, especially in the initial chapters. Additionally, many of the characters converse in military jargon. I found this rather off-putting in the beginning, what with characters making references to K-bars and squids and Nagoolians and losing KP (don't ask me what it all means!). Fortunately, however, it is easy to become accustomed to the language. Also, for those who have to know, a handy glossary of Marine slang is included in the back of the book. Matterhorn's strength is its engaging characters. Main character Mellas is complex and fully-fleshed out, a naïve young officer who only enrolled in the Marines because of a special educational programme. Never expecting to actually see combat, Mellas finds himself quite out of his depth commanding a platoon in the Da Nang jungle. His naivety and faith in human nature often clashing with the grim realities of war, Mellas soon finds himself forced to confront some of the terrible things he's done, including making a poor decision that costs the life of one of his men. These poignant scenes, powerfully expressing the guilt and terror felt by survivors of conflict, are among the novel's highlights. Matterhorn's supporting cast members are just as endearing. Incompetent yet spirited Pollini, the religious and good-spirited Cortell, black rights advocate China, incorrigible Vancouver, selfish alcoholic Colonel Simpson – the cast is vast, often intimidatingly so, and it is to the author's credit that he manages to make so many of them memorable. Marlantes paints the Marines of Bravo Company as regular men, each with strengths, weaknesses, fears and aspirations of their own, all thrown together in a situation they can never hope to comprehend. Despite their differences, these men have no choice but to rely on each other for survival, in the process forming friendships so strong they are willing to sacrifice their lives for each other. This fact makes the novel's high body count even more tragic: a great number of the characters die in agonising and senseless ways throughout the novel, and even the surviving characters do not escape fully unscathed. All in all, Matterhorn is an engrossing and powerful read on many levels. Firstly, it is a striking narrative populated with fascinating characters whose lives are forever changed the destructive nature of the unmerciful by war. Secondly, Matterhorn offers an unflinching depiction of the Vietnam conflict, an era still vilified by many, sparing nothing as it exposes the racial discrimination, class struggles, and political uncertainties of the time. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, it is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire, as well as a grim reminder to us of the horrors of war, whose effects linger long after the fighting stops. Full Feed Generated by Get Full RSS, sponsored by USA Best Price. |
| Posted: 09 Jun 2011 07:14 PM PDT Sasameke Vol.1 ME and football – we're like oil and water. Yet, something drew me to Sasameke, which revolves around the said sport. Our hero is Rakuichi Nagahama, a football prodigy who is so good at the sport that he left Japan for Italy to hone his skills. However, three years later, Rakuichi returns to his small hometown, seemingly defeated. Obviously his dreams of football glory have not gone the way he wanted, though nobody knows how that happened. Now, Rakuichi just wants to forget that he was ever interested in the sport. However, his friends are excited to have him and can't wait for him to be part of the football team, which is the last thing Rakuichi wants. Everybody expects him to excel in the field but the truth is Rakuichi isn't even interested in the sport anymore. It's tough living up to expectations – especially yours, and that is what makes Sasameke's premise intriguing to me. I expected a story that is not just about football but of accepting your limitations and loving yourself despite it. Instead, what I got was a mixed bag that left me ... incredibly confused. The characters seem interesting at first. There's Matsuri, a fellow football player and an eccentric who recruits Rakuichi into his detective gang, "The Matsuri Detectives"; Maiki Oumi, the second-year student dubbed "the beautiful freak". She is an award-winning author who can catch bugs with her chopsticks and whose favourite mode of communication is to beat you to a pulp. Not exactly a realistic character, but intriguing nevertheless. Rakuichi could have been developed so much better; he started out as a sympathetic character, what with his struggle with the supposed failure of his dreams, only to become an unlikeable, angsty teen that blames people for his problems. After three volumes of this, it gets quite tiresome when there's little character change. But what's worse is that you have an interesting cast of characters only to waste them in a haphazard plot. I was drawn to the manga because I expected to read a tale of having to overcome past failures and to get an insight of Rakuichi's emotional life. Instead, Rakuichi's failure in Italy was explained in an offhand and disappointing manner at the beginning of the manga, and oddly never mentioned or explored further. What we get instead is a bunch of crazy characters who get Rakuichi involved with a series of strange activities such as a high-speed motorcycle chase. Then there are lots of football matches. Lots of it. Great if you're a footie fan, not so fantastic if the sport isn't appealing. Sports manga are great if the sports activity works in tandem to develop the characters. In Eyeshield 21, a bullied kid finds that he is special when playing American football. In the famous football manga, Captain Tsubasa, we see how a boy develops into a man while playing football. Let's not forget Slamdunk!, in which a delinquent teenager discovers the meaning of comradeship and responsibility playing basketball. In Sasameke, rather than have Rakuichi's emotional development as the anchor of the story, we get random acts of football on top of unconnected incidences that don't make sense. As a result, I still have no idea what the manga is all about halfway through this thick manga. This is never a good sign. The quality of the mangaka's art wavers from panel to panel as well. When the art is done well, it's truly striking, but when it goes down in quality ... well, it looks as if a two-year-old took over the mangaka's seat. The only saving grace is that the mangaka illustrates action scenes pretty well. I had such high expectations of Sasameke – it looked like such a handsome manga (it's actually an omnibus collection of Vol.1-3) and seemed to have such a great potential. But I came away flatly disappointed by the haphazard plot, and the characters I couldn't root for. Looks like footie and I would have to go our separate ways once more. Sasameke Vol.1 is available at Kinokuniya KLCC. Full Feed Generated by Get Full RSS, sponsored by USA Best Price. |
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