The Star Online: Entertainment: Music
The Star Online: Entertainment: Music |
| Alison Gold's <i>Chinese Food</i> is ridiculous Posted: It's easy to see why the latest YouTube pre-teen "sensation" is not getting much love for her video. IF you thought Rebecca Black's Friday was annoying, wait till you sink your teeth into Chinese Food. Performed by what looks like a pre-teen girl – her big girl teeth have yet to be fully formed! – named Alison Gold, Chinese Food is a declaration of her love of Chinese food. The lyrics are ridiculous: "After ballin', I go clubbin', then I'm huggin'...", where she proceeds to hug her tummy (phew!) and screws up her face as if to tell us that she's hungry. At least that's what we assume. But seriously, what kind of parent lets their 12-year-old daughter go clubbin'? The song's melody itself is not all that horrendous, but pair it with awful lyrics and a laughable (also, a little racist) music video and you've got yourself a dud. Then again, it is things like these that make many a YouTube video popular and Chinese Food is no exception; currently, the official video has more than 10 million views since it was released on Oct 14. It's also available on iTunes, in case you're wondering. Chinese Food was written and produced by Patrice Wilson, the same man who gave us Friday, Happy and many other insanely cheesy and usually bad music videos. Wilson is a Nigerian singer/songwriter who first founded ARK Music Factory (which produced Friday) in 2010 with Australian music producer Clarence Jey, and then later established Pato Music World (PMW) in 2011. According to PMW's website, the company is a "great platform for undiscovered talent to get the recognition they deserve by increasing demand and providing a non-exclusive management deal which consist (sic) of social media, song creation, music video creation, record label and music distribution. Finally, EXPOSURE!!!" Errr ... yeah. To be fair, though, not all of these singing hopefuls that PMW has er, helped are bad – some do show a fair bit of potential. If you're curious about what Chinese Food is like but wary of actually watching the 3.28-minute video – or worse, having the song stuck in your head for hours – here are some screen captures that pretty much tell you the video's "story". Enjoy. The video starts with this guy frying up some "chow mein" on an iron griddle. Maybe the wok's broken.  The singer, a tiny teeny bopper, walks at the park after a spot of clubbin' and ballin', and proclaims that she's hungry. And to show that she's in a "grumpy" mood, she pushes an innocent garbage can.  Shortly after her act of tween rebellion, Alison comes across a building that supposedly sells "Chinese Food". She's deliriously happy.  However, she's not as deliriously happy as this girl, who seems to run said Chinese Food business. At this point, you'll realise that there are hardly any adults in this music video.  After ordering a ton of food, Alison proceeds to sing about what's on the menu like broccoli (we're not sure why she's so happy about this) and chicken wings ("make it spicy, and you'll like it cos it's beautiful").  She's now stirring the "wonton soup" that makes her feel so, so good. Can a 12-year-old girl really eat that much food?  Here's where the video starts to get weird (before that it was just cheesy): Following the instructions of a fortune cookie, Alison scans the room and locks eyes with a panda. It's not a real panda, of course, but it would've been better if it were.  Alison and panda quickly become BFFs and frolic around the same park where she pushed the garbage can. We assume.  Lo and behold! The panda is actually a grown man (that's the song and video mastermind, Patrice Wilson, in case you're wondering) ... who hangs out at restaurants frequented by kids ... and spends the day goofing about with a tween ...  Mr Panda at a girls' slumber party. Creepier and creepier still.  The end (thank goodness!). |
| Posted: South Korean star is set to collaborate with the Aerosmith frontman who's his idol. RAP star Psy, who has been an Aerosmith fan since he was a young boy, has revealed that he will be collaborating for an upcoming track with the legendary Steven Tyler. "When I was in middle school, I literally cried when Aerosmith sang Crazy or Amazing or whatever," Psy said in this month's issue of L'Uomo Vogue, where the K-pop star graced the cover. "They were my lifetime role models, and now I am collaborating with Steven Tyler. ... I love my life." Psy has pushed back the release of his upcoming US album numerous times, previously slating it for the summer and then September. He added once again that fans may be able to hear something new from the artiste by November. "I am recording every day, what I am trying to do is make song after song. I am totally out of that stress and pressure right now, so maybe there's going to be another album, or single or an EP but ... one thing I know ... I am on fire right now," Psy said. – The Korea Herald/Asia News Network |
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