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Tried breastfeeding your newborn, but all ready to give up? Get help online.

IT'S not unusual for newborn babies to wail. But if the crying is continuous, one of the reasons could be because the new mother is not producing enough milk to soothe the child's hunger pangs. "I had a hard time breastfeeding my daughter for the first three weeks. It was painful, and there was very little milk. During feeding time, she would cry and I would cry along with her," recalls Christina Anthony, 33.

In desperation, the secondary special education schoolteacher from Kuching, Sarawak, resorted to feeding her baby with formula milk, a solution she wasn't entirely contented with. Most mothers can probably relate to Anthony's ordeal. But there are also those who claim to have breezed through breastfeeding and motherhood, while women like Anthony are met with disdain because they seemingly "lack" a certain something.

Anthony had to deal with "skeptics" – family members and friends who were doubtful of her ability in breastfeeding. "They would say: 'You just don't have milk. Don't stress yourself.' Friends who had breastfed their children thought that I wasn't trying hard enough. I broke down in tears when one of them said that I was just making excuses," she reveals.

However, thanks to a local online breastfeeding support group, new mothers can find support and advice for their woes.

Get help

The Breastfeeding Advocates Network (TBAN) is an online community of mothers on Facebook who help those in need of (literally) "motherly advice" when it comes to newborns and breastfeeding. What goes on is a real-time sharing of experiences; members can post SOS shout-outs on the group's wall and expect a reply within the hour. Comments are monitored around-the-clock by a group of voluntary administrative staff, to ensure the accuracy of the information shared.

It has been over a year since Anthony first stumbled upon the group – suffice to say, her 19-month old daughter, Amanda Grace David, is now a healthy breastfed child.

"I was on the verge of giving up when I discovered TBAN. I started connecting with the community and to my surprise, received many words of encouragement from the mothers. I picked up some techniques on how to solve my latching problem and increasing my milk supply, and within two months, I was breastfeeding my daughter 100%," she shares.

Founded in 2009 by breastfeeding consultant and mother-of-four Gina Yong, TBAN believes that "breast is best" when it comes to raising healthy children. The group is open to anyone and everyone who supports breastfeeding. As of August, the group has over 21,000 members, some of whom have since gone on to become certified breastfeeding peer counsellors.

"I bet you've heard this before: that out of five mothers, three would say they have no breast milk. Our society is programmed to think that feeding your baby with formula milk is the norm, and that breastfeeding is an option. But that's not true at all," says Ashley Ho, 34, a full-time mother-of-one who doubles as a TBAN administrative member and breastfeeding peer counsellor.

Going natural

Though breastfeeding is widely encouraged and proven to provide greater benefit to a child's brain development, many mothers don't do it due to various reasons. According to a report last year, only 23.7% of babies born in the country are breastfed exclusively for the first six months.

In Ho's opinion, most women can successfully breastfeed with a little guidance.

"Some mothers give up breastfeeding because they find it painful. Yes, it can get uncomfortable at first but if there's excessive pain, it's quite likely that you are doing something wrong," she explains. A common mistake in breastfeeding is when a baby latches onto the nipple, instead of the areola (the coloured circle around the nipple).

Another misconception: mothers usually don't produce enough milk during the first three or four days after birth. Colostrum is produced in the early days of breastfeeding – a yellowish liquid that is low in volume but thick with nutrients. There is a demand-supply rhythm to breastfeeding, and a mother's supply of milk will gradually increase along with the feeding needs of a newborn.

Patience is the key to successful breastfeeding, says homemaker Marliza Maharon, 30. The mother-of-one persevered even when she developed mastitis, a painful inflammation on one of her breasts, when she first began breastfeeding her daughter, Mahdiya Hasrul Aizan, a year ago. Blocked milk ducts, due to an obstruction of milk flow, can lead to breast engorgement and eventually mastitis. Like Anthony, Marliza's daughter struggled with latching onto the breast.

"I was clueless about breastfeeding. I had no one around me to give me the proper advice, so I just did the best I could. I continued breastfeeding even though my breasts hurt every day," says Marliza.

She recuperated well, and breastfeeding became easier by the day. The former wedding photographer has since attended a three-day training course to become a breastfeeding peer counsellor, and is currently an active TBAN member, helping ease new mothers along on their breastfeeding journey.

"It is important to understand that breastfeeding requires effort, and that overcoming difficulties is all part and parcel of the whole experience. While technique and knowledge is important, mothers should also get to know their own bodies. "Nobody can produce the same amount of milk at the same time, and at the same capacity," says Ho, encouraging new mothers to seek help and support.

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World's most beautiful

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Mrs Universe 2013 Carol Lee is the first Asian woman to be crowned for the many roles she takes on so well; working mother, loving wife, successful career woman and passionate activist.

WITH her towering five-foot-eight frame and a picture-perfect smile, newly-crowned Mrs Universe 2013 Carol Lee is a striking woman who knows how to make an entrance.

Despite her worries of tripping onstage and a sudden bout of rashes on her face, the 39-year-old mother won the coveted title of Mrs Universe, becoming the first Asian woman, and the first Malaysian, to be crowned the world's "most honourable married woman". It is awarded to women aged between 25 and 45, taking into account their family and career as well as involvement in a significant cause. Back in Kuala Lumpur, the chatty and down-to-earth beauty queen shares her experiences in the Mrs Universe pageant in the Caribbean, accompanied by her husband Kenneth Lee and five-year-old daughter Klarissa.

She recounts how her family had been trying to watch a live streaming of the pageant but was cut off halfway due to a bad Internet connection.

"So then, did you know mummy was going to win?" Lee prompts her daughter. A confident "Yes!" came forth, and the room lit up with laughter. Satisfied with the response, Klarissa scrambles onto her father's lap to share a game on the iPad.

Lee is currently championing for women, and men, to stand up for their rights in a nationwide campaign against domestic violence.

While Kenneth, 42, is proud of his wife's achievements, the same can't be said of his newly-acquired nickname: Mr Universe.

"I don't think I have the body of a Mr Universe," jokes the general manager of a multi-national company. "As they say, opposites attract. Carol shines in the limelight. I prefer to support her behind-the-scenes."

Determined to win

Born in Selangor but raised in Penang, the news presenter and former talk show host grew up in a middle class family alongside her elder brother. She was a tomboy, and has always been competitive, excelling in sports from her early days at school.

Lee, a management and marketing graduate, has always stood out literally, due to her height. She took full advantage of that, and started modelling in her late teens and even participated in the Miss Malaysia Chinatown pageant (now known as Miss Astro Chinese International), where she emerged the winner. Fresh in her 20s, Lee was sent to Hong Kong to compete in the Miss Chinese International finals, but didn't win the crown.

"When I heard about the Mrs Universe pageant, I saw it as a second chance at succeeding," she says.

"It has always nagged at me that I didn't perform as well as I would've liked in the Miss Chinese International pageant. I wasn't prepared at all for the finals in Hong Kong and my Cantonese wasn't that great. I felt like I was just given an air ticket and told to fly there," she recalls.

Lee is the first Asian, and also the first Malaysian, to win the Mrs Universe title.

Still, Lee's participation in the Mrs Universe pageant was unplanned. Her name was recommended to the Mrs Malaysia Universe organisers just as they were looking for potential candidates. After a succession of interviews, Lee was appointed as the Malaysian representative who would compete at the finals in Palm Beach.

With the full support of her family, the mother-of-one took the Mrs Universe calling seriously, and gave herself 10 months to mentally and physically prepare for the finals.

At the pageant, Lee wore clothes by Malaysian designer Carven Ong, the Asian Top Designer of the Year in 2009. One of Ong's notable creations was the national attire Lee paraded at the pageant, which featured several large hibiscuses suspended over her shoulders.

Queen of confidence

In line with the pageant's theme and initiative this year, Lee is actively involved in raising awareness on domestic violence. She launched the "Nationwide Campaign Against Domestic Violence", in partnership with KL Sogo and All Women's Action Society (Awam), in July.

The year-long event aims to encourage volunteers to join forces as advocates and trainers to educate the public on domestic violence, from informing them on where to get aid to educating them on its causes and effects. As a requirement for the Mrs Universe finals, Lee prepared a three-minute presentation supporting the cause, which she believes must have left an impression on the judges and led to her win. The popularity votes by fellow Malaysian supporters, also helped her clinch the title. Lee claimed the Mrs Popularity subsidiary title, garnering 88,649 votes in the online fan votes contest. Coming in at a close second was Mrs USA Amanda Grad, who scored 88,556 votes.

For Lee, the biggest challenge was in competing with much younger contestants. "When they announced the winner, it actually took me awhile to realise that they had called me. I needed confirmation from the other contestants before I dared step forward," she says.

As Mrs Universe 2013, Lee hopes that she has helped set an example, especially to the victims of domestic violence, that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

"I think no one even thought that an Asian would win this pageant. For the women out there who have allowed their boyfriends or husbands to lay even a finger on them, I hope to be a pillar of strength to inspire them to stand up for their rights and to ask for help. If you put your heart to it, anything is possible."

With her win, Lee's list of responsibilities has just gotten longer. She already has a lot going; apart from anchoring TV3 Nightline, the working mother is a sought-after emcee at local events and on the side, manages a child enrichment centre, Starz Studio, at KL Sogo.

Time management is key when it comes to leading a balanced life, she says.

Having taught in a kindergarten for several years, Lee says her main passion has always been children. "I help KL Sogo manage a daycare where parents can drop their kids off to shop at ease. I also like to nurture children's talents."

Lee has been organising pageants for children, but with a twist: instead of just one winner, all the contestants would be honoured and crowned for the day.

"A lot of kids don't understand what losing is about. I've seen them cry and it can be detrimental in the long run. What I want is for the kids to just experience being a prince or princess for the day and be acknowledged for all that they're worth."

In her daughter's eyes, Lee is a mother who happens to be Mrs Universe. .

"I hope that I can inspire my daughter to focus 'out', instead of 'in'. There's nothing like seeing the people around you happy and knowing that you've made a difference in their lives. That's something that will last. I hope that she'll build her confidence through that," Lee shares.

Kredit: www.thestar.com.my

Rabu, 21 Ogos 2013

The Star Online: Lifestyle: Parenting

The Star Online: Lifestyle: Parenting

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