The Star Online: Lifestyle: Parenting
The Star Online: Lifestyle: Parenting |
| Posted: It is hardest when you think you have found a soulmate, only to lose him. SOME things in this world are meant to be and some are not. Only God understands why some things have to happen and why others cannot be prevented from happening. I abide by this philosophy today and every day of my life, because I feel that my life is now lived through God's grace and sustenance. If I don't have this mantra to live by each day, my spirit will break and my soul will become fragmented. I will not be able to survive and perform as I do now. I need a mantra because I have no other choice but to carry on, and carrying on when I want to give up isn't easy. The mantra serves as my compass for I have children who look up to me for strength and a purpose in life, just like how I had looked up to my soulmate for everything before I lost him. The legacy has to go on. Weng Kong was my soulmate because he somehow could tell what I wanted even before I could articulate it to him. He had this uncanny ability to sense what I wanted to do and quite often, especially when making plans, he was able to take the words right out of my mouth. We were often amazed by our similarity index; his thoughts were my thoughts which I had in my mind but had not yet voiced out. Have you ever been spoilt? Well, my soulmate spoilt me all the time. He took me to eat whatever I felt like having that day and bought me the most exotic fruit I craved. When the craving for udang galah (lobster) and nasi kandar came around, my soulmate got it transported all the way from Alor Setar to Kuala Lumpur within 24 hours for me. Have you had a soulmate who would send dokong or duku langsat from Terengganu via Poslaju to you just because you felt like eating it? My soulmate did just that. When the craving for durians came, he ordered them, froze the custardy fruit and packed it into plastic containers before wrapping them in multiple layers of masking tape so that he could stow them in his luggage for my snack or supper later. I'm grateful for all the pampering because it was a rare privilege. My soulmate was also a great romantic. Even though he had a frantic schedule, I was never last in his list of priorities. He exuded warmth and care when he was with me, showered me with lots of attention and it was no secret to the family that I was the most important woman in his life. That raised a few eyebrows, but it gave me tremendous pride and assurance as a woman, especially when things didn't work out well, be it among siblings, parents or friends. When our sons misbehaved and were rude to me, my soulmate would reprimand them and our boys often watched their words. My soulmate also reminded them to love their mother well because, "if you go against your mother, you are indirectly going against me". With that in mind, the boys seldom bullied me even though sometimes, I was the irritant. My soulmate had many talents. He could sing, cook, talk and strategise. He had vision and was smart. He was my mentor who encouraged me to elevate myself in terms of my career. He was my personal doctor who had the antidote to heal the soreness in my legs. He was the comedian with the funniest jokes about men and the smoothest Casanova who romanced me on my birthdays. He was also the counsellor who listened empathically and made me feel important when I had complaints. He was the magician who could make all problems seem small. My soulmate had a way of making one feel competent and strong, that I could do anything even though the task before me may have been mammoth. "You can do it, loh poh (dear wife), this is sup sup swei lah," meaning it was not difficult at all. If my soulmate believed in me, surely I could do anything! My soulmate was an optimist who could lift spirits after a conversation. He was also like a sage who had lived through the years and had the wisdom to help me look on the bright side when mishaps occurred. He was kind, calm and slow to anger, and this makes me miss him more because I'm just the opposite. My values of love, integrity, warmth, generosity, forgiveness, kindness, gratitude and respect for others were reinforced by my soulmate who made me see that "one should enjoy blessings and endure misfortune together". I like this mantra because it encourages family members to be closer and share what they have, and not be calculating. My soulmate was a great, if not excellent, man, seen through my eyes. Weng Kong passed away in July of 2012 while working hard. I miss him dearly and deeply. Au revoir, my love. Do you have any real-life, heart-warming stories to share with readers? E-mail them to star2.heart@thestar.com.my. We'd love to hear from you. |
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