The Star Online: Metro: Central
The Star Online: Metro: Central |
| Posted: 15 Dec 2012 04:18 AM PST The woman behind the counter asked me, "Name?" "Aziah". "Age?" "34". "Marital status?" "Single," there was a pause. "By choice," I add with a smile. "Really?" My lips are beginning to twitch. "Yes, really," I assured her. I've grown accustomed to that reaction. I just don't know if it stems from curiosity, wonder, pity or perhaps even envy. Maybe it's a combination of everything. But this doesn't bother me. These days, it's not that uncommon to stumble across single women over the age of 30. We all have our reasons — some love their jobs so much that if they could marry them, they would. Others prefer to wait until they find someone really suitable ("I've waited this long, what's another few years?") while some claim that the timing was just not right, or perhaps, upon deeper reflection, it was a case of jodoh belum sampai (haven't met Mr. Right) as the Malays would say it. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. I leave that to God. He, I believe, knows what's best for us. For me, the best thing about being single is freedom. I'm not obliged to answer to a man and I don't have to worry how my decisions may affect him. I can make plans at a moment's notice without consulting him. In short, I can be selfish (grin). Being on my own also means that I have to be independent and responsible for my actions. Knowing that I can take care of myself is very satisfying. It builds character and boosts self-worth. A few months ago, a close friend took the plunge and uprooted her family so that they could live abroad. They were doing it for their children's sake — a better life and education. I confided in my sister: "Wouldn't it be wonderful — to be able to pack up and leave? Find a job, learn about a new culture and make new friends? My sister, ever practical, simply replied, "What's stopping you?" I chuckled. "Nothing". Singlehood makes it easier for me to do the things that I'd like to do. I just need to push myself and see how far I can stretch my capabilities. When the possibilities are endless, everything boils down to you having the courage to overcome your fears and shine. But not every day is a sunny day for the singleton. There will come a time, when loneliness creeps in. It comes without warning, scaring the daylights out of you. Big L is a lurker, I tell you. He pounces on you when you least expect it. A few years ago, when most of my girlfriends had settled down, I shied away from gatherings attended by couples. It took me a while to accept a close friend's invitation for Christmas dinner. The thought of being Bridget Jones facing Uncle Geoffrey was too much for me. In the end, I realised I was being silly. I ended up at Arleen's and had loads of fun. No one asked when I was going to settle down (and I didn't have to ask them when they were going to have a baby / another baby). Once, I was caught in a room full of mothers (and mothers-to-be). I felt like a man as my eyes glazed over when they started talking about breastfeeding, vacuum extraction (what???) and episiotomy (I learnt that it had to do with snipping of a certain body part). Worse still, is when hundreds worth of baby photos (at various stages) are uploaded on Facebook and Instagram. When this happens, I simply share pictures of my cats. But things aren't all that bad. I have wonderful friends who seem more than happy to have me around, be it social or family gatherings. Sure, once in a while they ask me "how's the love life?" To which I cheerfully reply, "there is no love". They take the hint and move on to other things. During Hari Raya, my friend's son asked me: "Auntie, where are your children?" You have to love kids — they're so curious and blunt. "Well, I don't have any. But if I have children some day, you can make friends with them". All in all, I'm happy to live vicariously through friends who are mothers while enjoying my freedom and independence. I'm grateful for the chance to play the doting aunt from time to time. Until someone decent comes along, I shall enjoy my singlehood and just go with the flow. |
| Posted: 15 Dec 2012 04:17 AM PST BASKETBALL CONTEST "USJ20 The New Beginning 3-on-3 Basketball Challenge" will take place on Dec 29 at 19, USJ City Mall between 8am and 8pm. It is open to Malaysians aged 12 and above. No Sukma, state or national players allowed. Participants need to register their team at the venue an hour before the event starts. Registration fee is RM100 per team. For details, visit www.pemainbolakeranjang.com or call 012-330 7676 (Wai Hoong) and 017-233 2706 (Yu Chung). FREE DIET CLINIC Sri Kota Specialist Medical Centre Klang will be organising a free Diet Clinic on Dec 22 and 29 from 8.30am to 12.30pm. There will be pre-screening programme, tips and advice by dietitian and physiotherapist. Seats are limited. To make an appointment, call 03-3373 3636 ext 7313/7335/7356. BOOK EXCHANGE The last Subang Jaya Book Exchange Programme is tomorrow. There will be food and drinks, goodie bags for the first 30 children who participate in the book exchange. For details, visit www.facebook.com/sjusjbep or call 012-224 9721. VI GET-TOGETHER Class of '79 (Form Five) and '81 (Form Six) of Victoria Institution are invited to a reunion which will be held today at 6.30pm at Holiday Villa Hotel and Resort Suites in Subang Jaya. For details, call 017-334 9036 (Leong) or 016-236 4818 (Joyce). ROAD CLOSURE New Pantai Expressway on both directions will be closed in stages from KM0.0 until KM19.6 from now until Feb 2, 2013, between 9pm and 6am daily, to facilitate resurfacing works. For details, call 1300 88 1010. ALUMNI GATHERING PTD Alumni will be hosting its dinner function today at The Royale Chulan Hotel at 7pm. For details, call 03-2300 0795 or email shamiera.russconsulting@gmail.com |
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